An hour ‘til work time ends. Everything is a mess especially my thought. How could i possibly think about different topics all at once. I can’t be more grateful to what I have in the meantime. But somehow, my ability to making right decision is so much degrading. I could throw some cash to just fix one of those. But, it doesn’t seem to help in a long run.
At this point of my worst, I just want to go home. Live a decent life. Maybe grow some plants or raise a cattle or two and being together ever after with my parents. Sipping tea every evening, enjoying home-made cookies my Mom bought from her colleague.
However, I also acknowledge that It isn’t the kind of life I aim for. I can’t live with simplicity, I can’t stand decent. Future is so blurry as it should. That’s the thing i hate the most, uncertainty. But what kind of life it is without the element of surprise, the ups and downs that you can predict. I’ve hit my rock bottom several times. And then suddenly the light came up. A light will always come up. I believe. I have to.
I haven’t got the chance to really reflect to every major step I took until I end up here. All I can say is that i can’t never ask for a better. So, instead of mourning over mistake I made lately, I should think positively. Live with it but don’t get affected. Just don’t be trapped into one simple mistake.